Becoming a mother is a dream shared by many women, but the path to motherhood can look different for everyone. For single women who choose to become mothers on their own, the journey can be especially challenging. The trying phase is described as a time when changes in people and relationships around you can occur, but it’s also a phase that can change you as well. In the video above I discuss this in more detail as well as the importance of protecting this stage of your journey.
The trying phase for single mothers by choice (SMC) can involve a lot of legwork, from diagnostic appointments to choosing a sperm donor. It can also be emotionally draining to juggle fertility treatments with work and other obligations. The trying phase can feel especially difficult when it seems like everyone around you is getting pregnant. It’s important to honor your feelings and emotions during this time, while also being mindful of the impact they may have on others.
Unexpected reactions from friends who are also trying to conceive can be particularly challenging. It’s important to brace yourself for news of pregnancies, engagements, promotions, and marriages, as they can trigger emotional responses. If you have a reaction, it’s important to remember that it could cause irreparable damage to a relationship. Pause before you respond especially if you experience a negative reaction. Writing your feelings down in a journal or speaking with your therapist can be a constructive way to release whatever emotions you experience. If you can, try to show up for your loved ones and celebrate their milestones if not in person than do so from a distance.
Conversely, your own announcement of pregnancy can also trigger unexpected emotions from those around you. It’s important to allow yourself and those around you some grace in absorbing the news. Celebrating the birth of a child while also yearning for a child of your own is a complex emotion that can be difficult to navigate. We also don’t know what others are experiencing so tread lightly.
Navigating the trying phase can also lead to changes in relationships. It’s important to be mindful of the impact that the process can have on friendships, romantic partnerships, and family relationships. Relationships that weathered the thinking phase may still be altered or repaired during the trying phase.
The journey to motherhood can be challenging for anyone, but it can be particularly challenging for single women who choose to become mothers on their own. The Start to Finish Motherhood Journal is an excellent resource for navigating the trying phase, as it provides guidance and support for women during this challenging time. The Start to Finish Motherhood membership community, Single Mothers by Choice national organization and Choice Moms website are also great resources for support and advice.
In conclusion, becoming a single mother by choice is a brave and courageous decision, but it can also be an emotionally challenging journey. The trying phase can bring unexpected changes in relationships and emotions. It’s important to be mindful of the impact that the process can have on yourself and others. Honoring your feelings and emotions, while also being supportive of others, is key to navigating the trying phase successfully. Remember that you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you through this process.